Alone with Deep Thoughts.

So for the past few weeks, I have been at home, alone.  The majority of the time I have been at home by myself - giving me a lot of time to think.  Been thinking about all sorts of things.  Like responsibilities, relationships, family, friends, photography, and things from my last assignment, like my coping mechanisms, strengths and weaknesses, social roles and overall what makes me, me!  And I dare say, it was really nice to have time (completely) by myself, to think things through.  Although, it has also given me time to think about other things as well.  

It gave me way to think about some of the more negative things.  And I know for a fact, that when we think about these negative things, it can feel like we are the only person in the world who is experiencing this, that "no one would ever understand".  I guess one of the main things I have been feeling down about, is my photography (this photo kind of depicts how I was feeling).  Being surrounded by so many incredible photographers (who are doing so well at it), I started taking a second look at my photos, re-analysing them; but through eyes of harsh judgement and sadness. I thought of ways that I could change my photography style  - y'know to 'fit in' and maybe get a bit more noticed in the "commercial world".  But I couldn't shake it.  I just enjoy creating this (slightly darker looking) fine art/conceptual style that I had become so fond of.  

I also realised that I was not the only one feeling like this. 

- I was scrolling through Facebook, when I saw a post that one of the Flickr photographers (I quite admire) had posted.  He said: 

"I've said it a million times but I'm feeling particularly out of the circuit lately. Please, do not ever push yourself to change your artistic style to fit what is popular. Do what satisfies you, do what makes you feel whole. You don't need favorites or likes or comments or views for your art to complete you. Please just don't lose sight of what feels right in exchange for what everyone else tells you is right."  ~ Steven Sites Photography

It made me realise that we all go through a time when we feel unsure of ourselves (or our creativity).  But that we shouldn't give up or give in - that we all have our own style, and that we shouldn't change it for anyone even if it feels like the easy way out. 

So, I have re-looked at this whole situation and rediscovered it for what it is.  A blessing in disguise.  It has made me realise that we aren't all the same, and that we shouldn't create to please others, but to create because it's our passion and it's what we love.  As well as the fact that those we surround ourselves with (even if they are ridiculously talented at the same things as you) shouldn't be a hindrance to your work, but an encouragement!  People to help you through these tough times, and to inspire you! 

So here I am, (still dealing with some things, but) unashamed of my photography! (Please check out my Flickr) And I would like to say "don't be afraid to be yourself, and to create freely without judgement".  

☼